Author's Note: This story is for Sandy who's feedback makes me happier then most other things in life, and for Aciel who convinced me one more chapter of this series just wasn't enough. Thanks for waiting for so long for it guys. Written January 2006.


Smallville Friendship Chapter 8


Lex lay down on the comfortable bed and closed his eyes. He felt himself starting to relax, and even with his eyes closed he could tell as the lights started to dim. He heard the slow and steady voice coming out of the speakers telling him to relax even further. He did until all his muscles were at rest. He had done this seven times before, so it didn't take very long before he was almost asleep. But just as he was about to fall asleep, the calm and soothing voice told him to think back and remember something from his childhood. Then the voice was asking him questions, and Lex was answering.

The voice asked, "How old are you?"

Lex answered, "Six."

"What are you doing?"

"Looking at fish. Big fish."

"Who's with you?"

"Mom. She's telling me about the fish."

"Is your father there?"

Lex pouted, "No. He said he would come, but he had to work. He said he was sorry. He always has to work."

"Are you at the zoo?"

"No, we're at the Aquarium. The sharks are my favorite. Mom says we get to watch while they get fed."

"Is anyone else with you?"

"The bodyguards, but they don't count."

"Are there other people around? Any other kids for you to play with or talk to?"

"Some people are here to see the fish too, but no one will talk to me. The bodyguards scare them away. Mom's here though, so I don't care. She's holding my hand and smiling. She's telling me what the different kinds of sharks are called."

"Do you get to watch them eat?"

Lex grinned, "Yeah. It's so cool. They're rolling all over each other to get a bite."

"What happens when they're done?"

"We get to see all the exhibits. We stay all day, and even have lunch there."

"What happens when you go home?"

"Mom and I have dinner alone. Dad's still working."

"Do you see your father before you go to bed?"

"He comes in to say good night once I'm in bed. He's still in his suit. He smiles at me and listens to me tell him about the sharks. He says maybe he'll get me a piranha to keep in my room, but mom's in the doorway and says no. They both give me a kiss, and say good night."

"Do you go to sleep?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now you are going to start feeling more alert…."

The voice kept talking and soon Lex was fully awake. The lights came up just slightly, and Lex sat up. He looked around the room and smiled at the mirror he knew was a two way. Lex waited a few seconds, and then he heard a knock on the door. It was his professor's assistant, who smiled at him, and started taking off the little circles of tape that were holding on the six wires that were attached to his head and chest. Once she was done he put his shirt on. He stood up, and the professor came in. Lex smiled and said, "How'd I do?"

The professor smiled and said, "You tell me. Was that a memory you already had, or was it something you had forgotten?"

Lex thought for a second. "I had a vague memory of it, but now it's much more sharp in my mind."

The professor nodded and said, "Good. Let's go out and you can fill out the questionnaire about today."

As they were walking, Lex thought about the research study he was participating in. Professor Bennett had suggested Lex take intro to Psychology this year because all the papers Lex wrote for History seemed to delve into the psyche of the person Lex was writing about. Lex had agreed, and had found it interesting for the first two terms of his sophomore year in college. Then in the third term the professor had handed out a flyer which stated they needed participants for research projects in the psychology department. Quite a few students wanted to do it for the little bit of extra money that was involved. Lex looked it over, and was about to throw the paper away when he heard the professor tell them they could earn extra credit for doing it too. Lex had done well in the class so far, but he thought it would be nice to bring his B up to an A. So he had gone in, and submitted to testing.

But when he found out the particular test he was participating in was about improving memory, and trying to help people with memory recall, Lex had gotten much more interested. The first day had gone well, and he found he did remember some things about his childhood that he had forgotten. After that day, he decided there were some specific things he would like to remember. But even though he tried concentrating on those things when the testing started, by the time he was relaxed enough to almost fall asleep, his subconscious would take over, and remembered what it wanted to remember instead.

But now Lex was concerned. There was only one day left of testing, and so far he had only remembered happy things. He wanted to remember that night, even if it would be painful. So Lex had decided to try something else.

Once they had gotten to the outer room Lex said, "Professor Brown?"

"Yes?"

"There's something specific I'm trying to remember."

"Oh really? What is it?"

"I'd rather not say… but I was wondering if… After this experiment is done, do you think you could work with me…. off the record until I do remember it? I could give you specific questions to ask me."

Professor Brown thought about it for a few seconds and said, "It would be interesting to see how far my methods would take someone in remembering, but it would be a shame to not document it."

Lex said, "I could pay you. I could pay you a lot."

Professor Brown glared at Lex and said, "I won't take your money. I might help you, just to help you, and to see if my methods work for you, but not for money."

Lex blushed bright red and muttered, "Sorry."

"It's okay. Here, why don't you sit down and fill out the questionnaire. It sounded like a very good memory you were able to experience again."

Lex cheered up and nodded. He tried not to think about the fact that Professor Bennett and Professor Brown were friends. He could just see them talking together, and then later getting an intense lecture about bribes from Professor Bennett. Or worse, Professor Bennett calling Jonathan Kent. Lex swallowed hard and tried to push those thoughts out of his head as he sat down and filled out the paperwork. Once he was done he got up and handed it to the assistant. She said, "See you next week."

Lex nodded and headed out the door. He was done with classes for the day and headed for his car. As he was walking he thought, 'Why do I do stuff like that? Why not just let the guy think about it for the week? Instead I have to burst in and try to fix everything with my money. Now he'll probably mention it to Professor Bennett just in passing, and Professor Bennett will want to talk to me about it. He'll probably use examples of people from history that tried bribery and failed. There's a lecture I don't want. But even that would be better then calling Pop.'

Lex cringed a little while he imagined what Jonathan Kent might have to say about bribery. Lex had gotten to his car, and opened the door. He didn't even try to delude himself by saying it didn't matter what Jonathan said because Lex was now twenty and in the last term of his sophomore year in college. Jonathan didn't seem to think age was much of a factor in his relationship with Lex. As Lex was driving home to his condo he remembered the one time Professor Bennett had called Jonathan. It had been four months ago in the beginning of winter term.

******
Lex was taking a higher level History class from Professor Bennett this year, and while it was harder then last year's basic history class; it was also more fun. Lex truly enjoyed Professor Bennett's teaching style, and would often stay after class to talk with him about a viewpoint or opinion on the lecture. Then three weeks into class, the Professor had assigned the first big paper. Lex had a good understanding of the class, and had kept caught up on the reading, so he wasn't terribly worried about writing the paper. It was assigned on a Monday and due the following Monday. Lex put off writing the paper until Friday night.

Friday afternoon during his last class, one of the girls in the class invited him to a party that night. Lex hadn't been to a party since the previous term, and thought it would be okay to go. He would do his paper on Saturday. At the party he spent most of his time with the girl who had invited him, and he drank quite a bit. Saturday morning he woke up in a strange bed next to the girl with a massive hang over. He couldn't even remember her name, and quietly snuck out of the bed and looked for his clothes. He found them and got himself dressed in time to run for the bathroom and puke.

As he was lying on the bathroom floor of some frat house he didn't even recognize he realized that not drinking very often made his hangovers worse when he over did it. About two hours later he was able to drag his ass out of the house without dry heaving any more. He got to his car and drove himself home. Once there he showered, drank a bunch of water, and took some Tylenol. He spent the afternoon napping.

He woke up around three in the afternoon and realized he still had to start on the paper. His head didn't hurt quite so much, and he went to find something bland to eat. Once he had eaten, he got out his books and tried to write. He soon realized he would need to go to the library. He decided to do it Sunday, since he didn't feel good anyway. He sat in front of the TV and watched bad shows that he really wasn't even interested in for the rest of the night, only stopping to make himself some dinner. He knew he was procrastinating, and he knew he would hate himself for it tomorrow, but he just couldn't seem to force himself to work on the paper.

Sunday he got up early and decided to be serious about his paper. He headed to the library. Once he got there, he was beyond pissed when he read the notice saying they were closed for painting. Lex drove home in a bad mood and decided he would have to try the internet to get what he needed for the paper. Four hours later he looked at the clock and couldn't believe how much time had gone by. He had been to so many sites that they all blurred together, and he still hadn't found the information he needed. He took a break for lunch, and as soon as he sat down to eat - the power went off. He groaned and cursed his luck.

After calling the power company, he spent most of the afternoon trying to write a paper without the reference materials he needed. The power didn't come on until after one AM, at which time Lex was asleep at his desk. He woke with a start on Monday morning at seven AM. He looked at his clock and swore. He turned on his computer, and had just enough time to type in what he had written the night before. Then he printed it and got himself ready for the day. He cursed his luck again as he was headed to school, because his History class was first.

After class, when everyone else was turning in their papers, Lex stood back and waited. Once it was just him and Professor Bennett in the room Lex said nervously, "I was hoping to have an extension."

Professor Bennett looked concerned and said, "Is everything okay Lex?"

Lex looked down and said, "Yeah, everything's fine…. I… I just need some extra time."

Professor Bennett took a good look at Lex and shook his head. He said, "I'm gonna need more of an excuse then that. Why don't you have a paper for me?"

Lex felt himself turning red but did explain what had happened on Sunday. As Lex trailed off, Professor Bennett said, "Let me see the paper you have."

Lex dug it out of his bag and handed it over saying, "It sucks. If I could just have one more day I'll be able to turn in a much better one."

Professor Bennett said, "Take a seat."

Lex sat, and the Professor sat down as well and read the paper. After what seemed like a very long time to Lex the Professor looked over at him and said, "Your paper is full of speculation with very few facts to back it up. You haven't referenced anything, and there are about twelve grammatical errors. I think it's a C paper, but because I know you, and I know what you can write if you put the time into it I'm giving you a D."

Lex knew the professor was right, but he wasn't at all happy with this news. He said, "Look, I know it sucks. I told you what happened, so why can't you give me an extra day? I'll write a much better paper. You're my advisor, and I thought we were friends."

Professor Bennett said seriously, "You had all last week to write it Lex."

"Yeah, I know, but I didn't do it last week, because I figured I would have time to do it this weekend."

"Why didn't you work on it Saturday?"

Lex looked away, "I felt sick."

Professor Bennett shook his head and said, "I'm sorry Lex, but I'm not going to give you special treatment just because we're friends. You had plenty of time to do the work, you just chose not to."

Lex got pissed, "So you can use the fact that you know me to give me a D instead of a C, but not to give me an extra day? Some fucking friend you turned out to be! Screw you and screw your class!"

Lex stormed off while Professor Bennett yelled after him, "I wouldn't be a very good friend to you if I let you get away with sloppy work habits!"

Lex went to his next class in a bad mood. By the end of that class he had cooled down some, and even started to feel bad about what he had said. He had some time for lunch before his next class, and as he ate, he did some serious thinking about what he had said to the Professor. By the time his last class was done for the day, he regretted what he had said, and went to apologize to him. Professor Bennett was in his office, and Lex knocked on the doorframe to alert him to his presence. Professor Bennett gave Lex a questioning look. Lex said, "I'm sorry. I was mad, but mostly mad at myself, and blew things out of proportion."

Professor Bennett nodded and said, "Apology accepted Lex. And I wanted to let you know that I spoke with Mr. Kent about…."

Lex cut him off with a very loud, "WHAT?!!!"

"I'm sorry, but I took 'screw you and screw your class' to mean you weren't coming back to class. I called Jonathan Kent to let him know, and while I had him on the phone we talked about your paper too."

Lex felt his stomach twisting and said, "Why? Why would you do that to me?"

Professor Bennett gave Lex a confused look. He said, "Mr. Kent was very specific about when I should be calling him at the beginning of the school year, and you agreed. You sat here in my office with him, and nodded when he gave me a list of reasons to call him, and dropping out of the class was number one."

Lex sighed and said, "I wasn't going to quit, I just needed some time to calm down."

"Well I'll try to keep that in mind if something like this happens again. But the point is that Mr. Kent mostly agreed with me about the paper."

Lex muttered, "He would."

"But he got me to agree to let you have until Friday to do a new paper, and then I'll split the difference for the grade. So if you write me an A paper, I'll give you a B- for the assignment."

"Really?"

"Really. Look Lex, even if you don't do a second paper, it's not all that bad. I'll have some extra credit assignments later in the term, and if you keep up with the rest of the regular assignments, I'm sure you can still get a B in the class. Maybe even an A if you do great work. And even if you aren't exactly happy with that decision, I hope we can still be friends."

Lex nodded absently, too surprised at what Jonathan had done, and too concerned with what Jonathan was going to say, to think about much else. "Yeah that's fine. I'll see you tomorrow in class. I've got to go."

Lex walked away and drove immediately to his condo. As soon as he opened the door, he could see the message light blinking on his answering machine. He took a deep breath and pushed the button. Jonathan's voice came out saying, "Hi Lex, it's Pop. Call me when you get home please."

Lex felt his pulse go up. He didn't want to call at all, but at the same time he wanted it over with, and he wanted to tell his side of the story. He picked up and dialed the Kent farm, and as he hit the last number he realized his story would have to either involve telling Jonathan about getting wasted at the party, or lying. He was about to hang up and think about it some more when he heard Jonathan answer, "Kent residence."

Lex said, "Hi Mr. Kent, it's me."

Jonathan could tell Lex was feeling guilty, because he had called him 'Mr. Kent' instead of his usual 'Pop'. Jonathan said, "Hi Lex. How are you?"

"Not so good."

"I heard. Professor Bennett called me. Why don't you tell me about it."

"It was just stupid of me. I put off writing the paper until the last minute, and then everything went wrong on the day I had set aside to write it. Then today in class I was angry about the whole thing, and said something rude that I didn't mean. I've already apologized to Professor Bennett."

"What exactly did you say to the Professor?"

"Didn't he tell you?"

"No. He just said you were yelling, and stormed off indicating you wouldn't be back to class because he had given you a D on your paper."

Lex thought for a second and said, "I never planned on quitting the class, and I've already told him that. I'd rather not repeat what I said. I already apologized, and I didn't mean it."

"That bad huh?"

Lex felt his face getting warm. Jonathan continued, "Did the Professor accept your apology?"

"I think so."

"Okay, then I'll let it go this time. But I hope you realize I expect you to treat your professors with respect. Yelling and storming off isn't really appropriate behavior for someone in college is it?"

Lex was relieved he wasn't going to have to repeat it and mumbled a, "No Sir."

"I don't expect to have to go over this with you again, do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Sir."

"Good. Now, why did you put off writing your paper all week?"

"I thought I would have plenty of time over the weekend, and I knew I could get it done in a day."

"What happened to Saturday? The Professor said something about you being sick."

"Um…. Kind of."

The line was silent for a few seconds and then Jonathan said, "I'm gonna want a better answer then that."

Lex figured it had worked once, so he said, "I'd rather not say."

"Too bad tell me anyway."

Lex in a bit of a panic said, "No."

Jonathan said, "That's not the way this family works Lex, and you know it. Tell me what happened. Don't be so worried."

Lex had been pacing around the room, but now sat down on the couch feeling defeated. He said, "I went to a party Friday and got really drunk. Then I felt sick all day Saturday." Lex brought out his belligerent and defiant voice to say, "So did you want me to fly home tonight so you can spank me, or did you want to wait for this weekend."

Jonathan thought about it for a few seconds while Lex quickly regretted what he had said. Then Jonathan said, "Did you take anything besides alcohol?"

Lex gave a quiet, "No."

"Then I don't think I'll be spanking you for it at all. Since you felt sick all day Saturday, I think that's punishment enough. But if you give me even one more hint of attitude during the rest of this conversation, you can bet you won't be sitting comfortably on Friday night after you get home."

Lex was very surprised at this pronouncement and said quietly, "I'm sorry."

"Because you obviously didn't handle the party well, you're grounded from any and all parties for the next month."

Lex grit his teeth and worked on not commenting on that. After a few seconds Jonathan said, "Did you hear me Lex?"

"Yes."

"Do you think you'll have the self discipline to stay away from a party you're invited to?"

Lex thought about it. "I think so."

"If it would help, we would love to see you here at home for the next four weekends."

"Okay. I'll think about it."

"So tell me what happened on Sunday."

Lex went into detail and clearly showed his frustration with Sunday. At the end of the explanation Jonathan said, "Talk about bad luck. I'm sure it felt like the world was against you."

Lex sighed and realized telling Jonathan about it did make him feel a little better. Especially since Jonathan sounded like he was sympathetic. He said, "Yeah it did."

"Did Professor Bennett tell you he's giving you a chance to hand in a new paper?"

"Yes. Did he tell you about his grading system?"

"Um…. I'm not sure what you mean, so probably not."

"He told me it was a C paper, but he's giving me a D because he knows me, and knows I can write better. Does that seem fair to you?"

Jonathan thought about it. "No."

"That's part of why I was so angry."

"I can understand why that would make you angry, but you have to remember that if you had done the paper on time like you were supposed to it wouldn't have been a problem in the first place. So while I'm sorry he's not grading you impartially, I still think he has the right to give you the grade he sees fit. After this term you can always choose a different advisor, and make sure not to take any classes he's teaching."

Lex slowly shook his head. "No.… I do like him, and when we're talking about things for the class…. He's a good teacher, and he's given me good advice. I'll stick with him even if I think he was wrong today. He's been right more often then he's been wrong, and no one is perfect…. Except maybe you."

Jonathan burst out laughing and once he had calmed down a little he said, "I'm sure Martha would love to give you an earful on that subject."

Lex smiled a little, and said, "My mistake, she's the perfect one."

"Well you'll get no arguments from me there."

Lex took a deep breath and said, "I was really nervous to call you back."

"It's never easy to face up to things you've done when you know they were wrong. I'm proud of you for calling me and for being up front about it all."

Lex felt a little choked up at those words and said, "Thanks Pop."

"So go make arrangements to fly home this weekend because we miss you, and then get started on your new and improved paper."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later."
********

Lex went home and decided there was nothing to do about his bribery attempt now except wait and see if anyone started getting on his case about it. Over the next week when Lex didn't hear anything, he decided to let it go, and count himself lucky.

The next week in testing, he remembered another happy memory, and again when it was over, he asked Professor Brown if he had thought about testing him. Professor Brown said, "I did, and I'll be happy to do the test, but I have to be able to document the findings. I'll protect your name, and no one will know it's you."

Lex sighed. He really wanted to know. He said, "Okay, as long as you can promise me my name will be nowhere on the paper if you write one."

"Deal. When do you want to do it?"

"As soon as possible.."

"I'm free Saturday."

"This Saturday, meaning tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Okay. What time."

"Will 9AM work for you?"

Lex nodded and said, "Thank you Professor Brown. I'm very glad you've agreed to help me."

That night Lex went home and spent the night writing out some questions that he thought would help him get to that point of memory. The next day they were both on time at 9 sharp. Professor Brown sat down with Lex and said, "So what day or event do you want to remember?"

"The night my brother died."

Professor Brown looked startled for a few seconds and then said, "How old were you?"

"Nine."

"Do you have any memories of that night?"

"Yes, but they're spotty. And the part I really want to remember is missing."

Lex handed over some papers filled with questions. He sad, "These questions should help."

Professor Brown took a few minutes looking over the questions. He looked up at Lex after reading the last one and said, "Your mind may have helped you forget this for a reason. You may not be able to remember it, and if you do remember it, it might be damaging to you."

"I still want to try."

Professor Brown seemed uncertain. He said, "I just don't know."

Lex said, "Trust me, not knowing is just as damaging."

Professor Brown thought for a few seconds, and then slowly nodded his head. "I suppose it's worth a try. Let's get started."

Twenty minutes later Lex was almost asleep when he heard Professor Brown's voice. It said, "Think back to when you were nine."

The professor waited a few seconds and then said, "What are you doing?"

"I'm in my new school. I hate it here. Everyone hates me, and I don't get to go home at the end of the day. My roommate keeps calling me cue ball, and when I told him who my father was he just laughed."

"Why are you at the school?"

"Because I'm bad."

"What makes you think you are bad?"

"Dad says I am."

"Why does he say that?"

"Because I killed Julian."

"Do you remember killing him?"

Lex paused and his face showed some confusion. "No."

"Think back to the day your brother died. Did you go to bed at the regular time?"

"Yes. Mom was tired, so the nanny made sure I got ready and into bed on time."

"Did you stay in bed all night?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I heard Julian crying."

"Why did that make you get up?"

"He just kept crying. Usually it only lasts a few minutes, but this time it kept going. So I got up to see what was wrong."

"What happened then?"

Lex's face showed concentration as he tried to remember. Then his face cleared up and he said, "As soon as I got my bathrobe on, his crying sounded like it was further away, and it sounded…. Wrong. When I got to the hallway I couldn't hear him anymore, so I ran. When I got there I saw Mom standing over the crib, so I thought she was taking care of him. The room was dark, so I could just make out her shape. I stood and waited for her for a few minutes so she could get done taking care of Julian before I said good night. But then she just kept standing there, so I decided to walk up to her so she could see that I was there. But when I got close to the crib I…"

Professor Brown waited a few seconds and then said, "What did you see?"

"Mom was holding a pillow over Julian's face. I asked her what she was doing. She turned to me and smiled. She lifted the pillow and handed it to me. She looked down at Julian and said, 'He's quiet now. He's finally at peace.' She kissed the top of my head and patted my face. She said to me 'Don't look so sad Lex dear. Julian's happy now. Finally happy.' Then she walked away. I got close to the crib and looked at Julian. He was the wrong color… even in the dark he was the wrong color. His eyes and mouth were open. He looked afraid but he wasn't moving or making any nose. I was so scared. I didn't know what to do. I just stood there…."

"What happened next Lex?"

"Dad came in and said 'What did you do'. He looked at the baby and picked him up. Julian's head flopped. Dad made a noise and then put the baby back down. He turned and looked at me. It was a look I didn't know. He yelled 'What did you do!' and hit me. I must have passed out. I don't know for how long. When I woke up… I couldn't' remember what had happened. But Dad told me what I had done, and then sent me away to that school."

Professor Brown said, "You are feeling more awake now." And a few minutes later Lex was fully awake.

He opened his eyes and quickly sat up. He just sat there in shock for a few seconds. Then he started frantically pulling off the sticky tape that kept the wires attached to him. Once they were off, he grabbed his shirt and headed for the door. Professor Brown opened the door before Lex could get to it. Professor Brown said, "How are you feeling Lex?"

Lex put on his shirt and said, "I'm fine. I need to go."

"I think maybe you should sit down for a few minutes and let this information sink in before you go anywhere."

Lex looked Professor Brown in the eyes and said, "My mother murdered my baby brother, and my father blamed me for it. I got it. Now I need to go."

Professor Brown looked uncertain, and Lex shoved past him. On the way to his car Lex muttered to himself, "How could you?! I don't understand. Julian was so small and helpless. All you had to do was let the nanny take care of him. How could you do it?!!"

Lex stopped in his tracks and thought, "I could have stopped her. I just stood there while she killed him. If I had just let her know I was there, Julian might be alive."

Lex looked around him and realized he wasn't even headed to his car. He turned around and started in the right direction. On the way there he thought, 'Pop was right! I didn't kill him! Dad fucking assumed I had done it. I wonder what he'll say when I tell him?'

Lex got to his car and got in. He sat in the driver's seat and stared at the steering wheel. As he sat there the fresh memory of what Julian had looked like alone and dead in the crib came to him. He broke down and cried.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there. Every time he thought he had it under control, the sobs would start up again. But eventually he was able to stop and operate his car. He went home to his condo, and quickly packed an overnight bag.

The thought that was in the front of his mind was that he needed to confront his father. The only thought he could keep in his head was telling Lionel that his hate had been misplaced all these years.

Lex made arrangements for a flight to Metropolis, and for his Porsche to be there at the airport to meet him. Before he left his condo he thought about calling the Kents. There was no doubt in his mind that they would make him feel better, but he also knew they would want to get him calm before seeing his father. Lex didn't want to wait.

He left and went to the airport. Once he was on the plane, he had another thought. What if Lionel didn't believe him? What if his father laughed at him and said something like this was just at sad attempt to not take responsibility for something he had actually done. That thought sent Lex over the edge. His hate for his father skyrocketed, and he decided he was going to need a gun.

Lex didn't calm down during the three hour flight. If anything he got angrier. He got off the plane and found his car. He drove to a club he used to hang out at, and asked for Ken. Soon Ken was sitting at his table.

Ken said, "Long time no see Richie Rich. I've got some good stuff today."

"I'm not looking for coke today. I need a gun."

Ken stood up and put his hands up. "Woah! Slow down kid. I don't do guns."

"Yeah, but I bet you know who does."

Ken started to shake his head and Lex said, "I've been a good customer for many years Ken…."

Ken interrupted, "Two years ago maybe. Not anymore."

Lex said, "All I need is a name and location. Name your price."

Ken thought about that for a few seconds and said, "Five hundred cash."

Lex pulled it out and handed it to him. Ken wrote down a name and address. Lex took it and left. He went to the address Ken gave him. Fifteen minutes after he had arrived he owned an untraceable gun and a box of ammunition.

Lex loaded it when he got to his car and then put it in his glove box. He drove straight to Luthorcorp. He parked and put the gun in the back of his pants. He covered it up with his suit jacket, and got out. As he walked through the front doors, the metal detectors went off. A guy in security started to confront him with, "Hello sir, I'm going to have to ask you…."

Lex yelled, "You're fired if you say one more word!"

The security guard was about to pull his weapon when another guard came up and said, "I'm so sorry Mr. Luthor. Please go right ahead."

Lex went to the front desk where Joe was. Lex said, "Tell him I'm coming up, and unless he wants a scene he'd better be alone."

Joe nodded and picked up the phone. Lex strode towards the elevators. Once he got off the elevator he yelled at his father's secretary, "Don't let anyone in!"

He opened his father's office door and shut it behind him. Once he saw that there was no one else in the room, he locked the door too. Lionel said, "To what do I owe this unexpected surprise son?"

Lex started pacing around the room and couldn't make eye contact. He said, "I've been participating in a study at school. It helps people to remember their past."

"Oh?"

Lex looked at Lionel and said, "I didn't kill Julian Dad."

Lionel rolled his eyes, gave a long suffering sigh and said, "I'm sure that's what you want to believe Lex, but…"

Lex whipped out his gun from the back of his pants, chambered the first bullet, and then aimed it at Lionel's heart. Lionel immediately put up his hands in surrender and said, "What has gotten into you Lex? Just calm down…"

Lex gave an ironic laugh and said, "What's gotten into me? The truth Dad! That's what has gotten into me. You selfish uncaring bastard!"

"Why don't you tell me what this is all about."

"I did!! I didn't kill my brother! You saw me there and assumed I did it! How could you just assume that?! Did you hate me before you thought I killed him?!"

Lionel said calmly, "Lex, be reasonable. If you didn't kill him, then who did?"

"MOM!!"

Lionel thought about that and said, "Why would your mother do that?"

"I don't know. But I do know that she was unhappy."

Lionel looked off into the distance and said, "She was depressed, and taking medications for it."

Lex paced around the room not paying much attention to the gun in his hand. He was obviously agitated and said, "I saw her. She smothered him. When she saw I had come into the room she told me that Julian was happy now and handed me the pillow."

Lionel just sat there for a few seconds and found that he could see the truth in that story. He looked at Lex and said with sorrow, "Why didn't you tell me son?"

Lex gestured wildly with the gun and screamed, "Why did you assume I had killed him in the first place!!!"

Lionel knew the reason. Because he himself had killed his own parents, and he had thought the desire to kill people who were in your way was in his blood. Lionel had assumed Lex wanted his parent's attention all to himself. Lionel just shook his head not knowing what else to say. Then he asked again, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was in shock, and then you hit me so hard I passed out. Maybe if I hadn't hit my head on the floor I would have been able to remember what had happened and then I could have told you. But in all honesty I probably wouldn't have."

Lionel asked honestly, "Why?"

"You would have had Mom murdered for what she did. You couldn't kill me. I was the only living heir. But you would have killed her, and I loved her."

Lionel stood and started towards Lex as he said with regret, "It could have been so different between us Lex. If I had just known."

Before Lionel could reach him, Lex put the gun up again and pointed it at Lionel's head. Lex said with quiet hatred, "I don't think it could have Dad. You would have found a reason to hate me, or to set me against Julian if he had lived. I…. I think you're evil Dad. And I don't want to ever see you again."

Lionel said, "Lex I…."

But Lex had turned and ran, barely pausing to unlock the door. He ignored the elevator, and took the stairs. He got to the lobby and ran though without even realizing he was still holding the gun. Security didn't try to stop him, and he ran out. He ran to his car, fumbled to unlock it, and eventually tossed the gun on the passenger seat and locked himself into his car.

A few seconds later he looked over at his gun and unloaded it. He put the gun and the ammunition back in to the glove compartment. He started the car and then thought about where he should go. He wanted to talk to Jonathan, and Martha, but he wasn't sure he was ready to see them. He got out his cell phone and dialed their number. He was almost confused when no one answered. He got the answering machine. He said, "Mr. Kent, it's Lex. I need to talk to you. I need to talk to you now. Where are you? I… I'm in Metropolis, and…. Something happened. I'll come home later tonight…. I have to do something first."

Lex hung up and drove towards the outskirts of Metropolis. Twenty minutes later he was at the cemetery. He parked and got out. He hadn't been to see his mom since High School, and he had only been twice at all. But he had no problems finding her. He looked at the headstone and wiped off the debris that had accumulated over the years. He squatted down and looked at the inscription. It said, 'Loving wife and mother.'

Lex shook his head and sat down in the wet grass in his thousand-dollar suit. He wasn't sure if it started at an ironic laugh, or a cry, but soon he was crying again. A few minutes later he wiped at his face. He pulled up some grass and fiddled with it as he asked, "Why Mom?"

He waited a second, and then getting no answer he said, "Your own baby. He was so tiny and helpless. I will never understand this Mom. I can never forgive you. How can I possibly be a good person when my father is flat out evil, and my mother murdered her own baby? Am I just deceiving the Kents and myself with my good act? I don't know where to go from here. Should I become the immoral bastard my father wants me to be? The man I know I could be if the circumstances were right. Or should I keep playing house with the Kents only to have them disappointed in me years down the road when I turn into the monster my genetics want me to be?"

Lex took one more look at the headstone and stood up. He said, "I won't come see you again. Enjoy Hell."

Lex walked off and somehow found his way back to his car. He looked at his cell phone, and found that no one had called. He looked out the window and tried to decide what to do. He knew the right answer was 'go home and see the Kents' but at the same time, he really just wanted to forget. He looked at his watch. It was almost five PM. He could be home in two hours.

He started to drive, but as he passed through the city, he saw a bar he used to frequent. He pulled in and said to himself, "This is a bad idea."

But getting drunk just sounded too appealing. He doubted Jonathan would get too angry about it considering, and he would take a cab to a hotel later. He could go home tomorrow after a night of forgetting. He went in and found the manager. He said, "Deirdre, it's good to see you again."

Deirdre said, "Lex? Lex Luthor? I haven't seen you in ages. How are you?"

Lex smiled and said, "I'm great. In fact I'm celebrating tonight."

Deirdre smiled and gave him a coy, "You often are."

Lex handed her the keys to his Porsche and one thousand dollars. He said, "If I pass out get me a cab to the Plaza, make sure I get a room, and make arrangements to have my car driven there."

"Of course. Would you like me to send over one of the girls tonight?"

Lex lost some of his smile and said, "No. No girls tonight."

"Did you want Jeff to come by your table?"

Lex lost all of his smile. He said, "No. No hard stuff. Just scotch for me tonight. Give me the bottle, and a glass with ice."

Deirdre smiled and said, "You got it. Did you want your regular table?"

"Sure."

Soon Lex was drinking and feeling a little better.


On the Kent farm Clark came in from doing the chores and saw that there was a message on the machine. He listened and said, "That can't be good."

He looked at the time and called his parent's hotel room in Metropolis. Martha answered. Clark said, "Hi Mom, is Dad there?"

"Sure… Is everything okay Honey? Did something happen? Do we need to come home?"

"Jeez Mom, I'm fourteen. I can handle things for one night on my own. Stop worrying. The farm is fine. But Lex isn't. He called and left a message. I think Dad should hear it."

Martha said, "Okay, hold on."

Jonathan got on and said, "What's wrong son?"

Clark said, "I'm gonna play a message for you that Lex left about an hour ago."

As soon as Jonathan heard it he said, "Okay Clark, good job calling and letting me know. I'm going to call his cell phone and see where he is."

"He must be really upset if he didn't remember this was the weekend you guys were staying at the Plaza again. I mean he's the one who arranged it. But I guess it was a few months ago."

"I'll call you back as soon as I know anything. Let me know if he calls again."

"Okay Dad."

Jonathan quickly informed Martha of the situation and called Lex's cell phone. No one answered, so he left a message. "Lex it's Pop. We're here in Metropolis too. Our phone number here in the room is 555-1843. Call us back as soon as you get this message. Whatever happened, we'll help you as best we can son. We love you. Bye."

Jonathan hung up and looked at Martha. She said, "I guess that means dinner out is cancelled."

"I'm afraid so."

Martha looked at the clock. It was 5:15 PM. She said, "Let's just get room service and wait for his call."

Jonathan nodded and soon they had ordered. Jonathan ate quickly, and now was getting worried. He had tried calling Lex two more times with no results. At 5:45 PM, he turned to Martha and said, "I can't just sit here. It's probably useless, but I'm going to drive around the city and look for his car."

Martha understood Jonathan's need to do something. She said, "Okay, just call back here every half hour in case he shows up or calls."

Jonathan nodded and walked out the door.


Lex was taking it slow and enjoying his alcohol. He was on his third drink and feeling good. The music was insanely upbeat. The few people that were there at this hour seemed fairly happy. And his bottle of good scotch was comforting to see beside him on the table. Then he saw Jeff coming over. Jeff sat down and gave Lex a smile. Lex said, "Hi Jeff, how's business?"

"Booming. But still not as good as when you used to come in. Can I get you anything tonight?"

"No thanks. I'm done with that."

Jeff said, "If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that… Oh wait, that's right I do. I have serious doubts that you're done. Just come to the bathroom with me for a few minutes. I have some of the best weed I've ever had. Trust me, you'll have a good trip."

"Sorry Man. No more hard stuff for me. Just alcohol."

Jeff laughed and said, "Marijuana isn't hard stuff dude. My grandma does it. Just come to the bathroom with me. I'll give you the first one for free."

Lex thought that over, and after a few seconds he nodded and said, "I'll come with you to try it, but even if it's the best stuff ever, I'm not going to buy any."

Jeff said, "Excellent."

They headed to the bathroom and Jeff pulled out a joint. He lit up and took a drag. He handed it to Lex who also had one. Lex had to admit it was pretty powerful stuff after three drags. Jeff said, "So can I interest you in some more?"

Lex giggled and said, "No way man. It's good, but trust me it's not worth it."

Jeff shook his head. "I never thought I'd see the day you'd turn down drugs Lex. What happened?"

Lex shrugged and said, "Life I guess."

Jeff handed Lex the rest of the joint and said, "On the house. I've got to go find some paying clients."

Lex smiled and watched Jeff leave. He looked at the joint in his hand and took another drag. As he was exhaling, he heard the bathroom door open. There in front of him was Jonathan Kent.

Jonathan at first looked happy and relieved, but quickly saw what Lex was holding and glared.

Lex looked down at his own hand to see what Jonathan was looking at. He said the first thing that came to his mind; "I can get a prescription for this."

Lex hoped it didn't sound as desperate to Jonathan as it had to himself. Jonathan gave him a look that said he was clearly not amused and said, "I doubt it, and the point is that you don't have one."

Lex quickly stubbed it out on the sink and tossed it in the trash. He said with defiance, "I'll have a prescription for it tomorrow."

Jonathan took the five steps that separated them, grabbed Lex's upper arm and turned him. He gave Lex four hard swats and then turned him back around. He said, "You will do nothing of the kind."

Lex had been expecting it, and kept himself from yelling out, but it took effort, and he did feel his eyes start to fill. Lex ducked his head and said, "Yeah… Okay…. Sorry."

Jonathan said, "I got your message. What happened?"

"I didn't kill Julian."

Jonathan nodded. He had never believed Lex had killed his brother. Lex was the only one who was unsure. Jonathan said, "What finally convinced you?"

Lex sounded haunted as he said, "I remembered who did. It was my mother. She put the pillow over his face and murdered him, and my father blamed me for it all these years."

Jonathan looked a little sick and pulled Lex into a hug. He didn't say anything, he just held Lex close.

A few seconds later the bathroom door opened and a big guy said, "Why don't you fags take it outside before I make you."

Jonathan let go of Lex and glared at the guy. He said, "He's my son. You got a problem with that Jackass?"

The guy said, "Whatever dude, just stay out of my way."

Jonathan turned to Lex and said, "Let's go. We can't talk here anyway."

Once they walked out of the bathroom Jonathan asked, "Do you need to pay your tab?"

"No but I have a bottle of scotch on…. Never mind."

"You bought a whole bottle just for yourself?"

"Yeah."

"You'll have to give whatever is left back."

"I figured."

"How many did you have?"

"Three."

"And what were you planning to do with your car? Because I know you weren't planning on driving it after you'd been drinking."

"I already gave the manager my keys. She'll arrange to have my car sent back to the Plaza. I should tell her to keep the rest of the bottle, and that I'm leaving, and that I won't need a cab ride… I assume I'm going with you."

"Yes."

Lex was about to go find Deirdre but then turned back to Jonathan and said, "How did you get to Metropolis so fast?"

"Don't you remember? Martha and I are staying at the Plaza this weekend. You gave us the vouchers for our anniversary."

Lex shook his head. He said, "I can't believe how stupid I am. If I had remembered, I could have gone to see you. I would have gone to you instead of coming here."

"Let's talk back at the hotel. Come on."

Lex took care of the things he needed to do, and got his overnight bag from his car, while Jonathan used the pay phone to let Martha know he had found Lex and was bringing him back to the hotel with him. Then he asked Martha to call Clark so he wouldn't worry. Soon Lex found himself in Jonathan's truck. As they started out Jonathan said, "Why didn't you answer your cell phone?"

Lex searched his pockets and found that his phone had three new messages. He said, "I must not have heard it ring over the noise of the club."

Lex listened to all the messages, and found they were all from Jonathan. Then he said, "I wish I had remembered that you guys were gonna be here."

"Me too."

They were quiet the rest of the ride home, both knowing Martha would want the entire story herself.


When they got to the hotel, Lex said, "I guess I should book a room."

Jonathan said, "We have a huge couch in our room if you want to stay with us."

Lex shook his head, "You came here to get away and spend some time together. I'll get my own room."

Jonathan nodded his acceptance and waited while Lex got his room. Then Lex followed Jonathan up to Jonathan's room. Martha had been sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for them. As soon as she saw Lex, she got up and pulled him into a hug. He held her tight while Jonathan shut the door. Jonathan walked towards the couch and said, "Let's hear the whole story Lex. "

Jonathan sat down, and so did Martha, who pulled Lex down to sit in between them. Lex sighed and put his elbows on his knees. He said, "I was earning extra credit for my psychology class by participating in studies. Then it turned out that the study I was signed up for was about memory recall. It worked pretty well, but as the days went on I kept thinking about the night Julian was killed and how I couldn't remember. So once the class was over I asked the professor to help me over the weekend. He agreed, and this morning we did the routine again. But this time I gave him specific questions to help me remember that night…."

Martha had kept her arm around Lex's shoulders the whole time he had been talking. Now she gave his shoulder a squeeze. Lex told them what he had remembered from that night in detail. When he was done he looked over to Martha and saw she was crying. He looked to Jonathan who was clenching his jaw and looking like he wanted to kick someone's ass. Martha wiped at her face with her hands, and went to get a tissue. She came back, sat down, and took Lex's hand in hers. She said, "What did you do next Honey?"

"Drove home, booked a flight, and came to Metropolis."

Jonathan said, "What have you done from the time your flight got in until now? And why didn't you call us from home?"

Lex paused and said, "You know that thing you have about when I don't tell you something that I know is….wrong,….it counts as a lie?"

"Yes."

Lex hesitated again and said, "Well maybe we could make an exception for extenuating circumstances."

Jonathan didn't need to think about that one. He said, "No."

Lex looked down and said, "Then maybe you should just put me down for one lie, because I'm pretty sure you'll be more upset about the truth then you would be about me lying."

Jonathan put his arm around Lex's shoulders and said, "That's not the way it works son. You know that you can tell us anything, and we will still love you. And I think I should point out something important to you."

Lex looked over waiting. Jonathan said, "A year ago if you had done something that you knew I wouldn't approve of, you would be worried that I would walk out of your life. Now you're just worried that I'm going to spank you. I think that's a big step forward in our relationship."

Lex gave Jonathan a sad look and said, "I guess you're right, but that still doesn't make me want to tell you."

Jonathan smiled slightly. Then he got a more serious look and said, "But I want you to be the kind of man who faces up to his mistakes, no matter what the consequences because it's the right thing to do."

Lex tried not to sound whiny when he said, "You say you want me to be a man, but you're gonna spank me when I tell you. Shouldn't you say you want me to be a good kid? I don't know why you can't seem to see that I'm an adult."

"I know you're an adult. I know you have huge responsibilities, and I know your family made you grow up faster then you should have. But emotionally I think you're closer to Clark's age."

Lex was indignant; "I am not!"

Martha interrupted, "Enough stalling Lex. Tell us the truth. All of it please."

Lex let go of Martha's hand and got up to pace. He said, "I confronted my father. Then he did exactly what I knew he was going to do. He didn't believe me. He thought I was making it up, so I…. I pulled a gun on him."

Martha gasped and Jonathan said with calm, "Did you shoot him?"

"No."

Martha breathed out, "Thank God."

Jonathan said, "Did you shoot the gun at all?"

"No."

Jonathan still calm asked, "How did you get the gun?"

Lex got red and said, "I know someone. He got it for me today."

Jonathan leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees and linked his hands together. He said, "Where is the gun now?"

Lex looked out the window and realized this wasn't a good answer either. "In my car."

Jonathan shook his head. He said, "What happened with your father?"

"He eventually believed me. He said some garbage about how things could have been different between us, and I told him he was evil and that I never wanted to see him again."

Martha opened her mouth to say something but Jonathan beat her to it and said, "Then what?"

"I ran to my car, unloaded the gun, put it in the glove box, and called you. Then I went to visit my mother's grave. I told her some things and then went to the club."

Martha asked, "What did you tell your mom?"

Lex stuck his hands in his pockets and said quietly, "That I can't understand her or forgive her for what she did."

Martha then asked, "Why didn't you head for home instead of going to the club?"

"I wanted to forget, and I knew alcohol would let me. I know it's 'wrong' – Lex put his hands up and made quote marks in the air when he said wrong – but I needed it."

Jonathan glared and said, "What about the pot? Did you need that too?"

Martha gave Lex a disappointed look that he had trouble facing. He looked to the ground and said, "I didn't buy it. My old supplier wanted to sell me some, but I said no. So he talked me into trying a free sample. I had already told him I wasn't going to buy any."

Jonathan asked, "Is that it? Did you tell us everything?"

"I think so."

"Why don't you go check out your room while Martha and I talk about this."

Lex looked at Martha with confusion, but she also looked perplexed. Lex nodded and said, "Okay."

As he was walking out Jonathan said, "I'll come see you in a few minutes."

Lex grabbed his overnight bag and said sarcastically, "I'll be looking forward to it."

Once Lex was gone, Jonathan turned to Martha and said, "What do you think Sweetheart?"

"His mother was obviously mentally unstable. It's gonna take him a while to accept all this. But on the other hand it has to be somewhat of a relief for him to know he didn't do it. He's been getting more independent lately. Instead of calling us every day it's maybe twice a week. I think he's going to need us to give him more support for a while."

Jonathan nodded. "I agree. I was thinking maybe I would call Professor Bennett and have him send Lex his assignments for the next week so he could stay with us. Maybe a week at home will help him."

"I think that's a wonderful idea."

"He'll also need some comfort over this next week, because I'm going to have to punish him twice."

Martha said in Lex's defense, "But Jonathan, like Lex said, there were extenuating circumstances. His emotions were on overload. I think once would be more than enough."

"I'm sorry Martha, but I don't agree. Buying an illegal gun, and waving it around in a public building is not something we can let go no matter how upset he was."

"I agree that we can't let that go, but if you think you should spank him a second time for a few puffs of marijuana that he didn't even buy, I think you're wrong."

Jonathan sighed, "I would agree with you if I hadn't gone over it with him before. I told him any illegal drugs were completely off limits with no exceptions. I think in the long run Lex will be better off knowing that I'm going to follow through with what I say."

Martha thought about it for a few minutes and then said, "I can see why you need to make a point with him, but I don't like it. You should make it more of a token spanking then a real one.

Jonathan slowly nodded and said, "Okay Martha. You win. I'll go easy on him this time."

Martha got up and gave Jonathan a kiss and a hug. He said, "I should go see him."

"He shouldn't' be alone tonight. Bring him back here. I'll go check out the gift shop for a while. Lex can sleep on our couch. I don't want him in that big room all alone in his emotional state."

Jonathan said, "I'm sorry this is getting in the way of our anniversary trip."

"Nonsense. We both know that the kids come first."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now get him while I go shop."

Jonathan watched while Martha got her purse and left. Then he took the elevator up to Lex's floor. He found Lex's room and knocked on the door. A few seconds later Lex answered looking nervous. Jonathan said, "Martha says you're spending the night in our room."

Lex shook his head, but before he could protest, Jonathan said, "If you've got issues with that, you'll need to talk to her about it. Go get your stuff."

Lex sighed, got his bag, and followed Jonathan back down to his room. When they got in the room Lex looked around and said, "Where's Mom?"

"She went to the gift shop so we could take care of things."

Lex glared and said, "You tricked me!"

Jonathan gave him a glare back and said, "Sit your butt down on the couch and listen up."

Lex tossed his bag on the floor a little harder then necessary, but then did go sit on the couch. Jonathan said, "Tomorrow morning you're coming home with us."

Lex nodded knowing that was going to happen. Then Jonathan said, "And you're going to spend all next week at home."

"What about school?"

"I'll call Professor Bennett and make arrangements for you to get your homework sent home. Martha and I agree that after what you've found out you need a week at home with us."

On the one hand Lex thought going home sounded like the best option, but on the other hand he didn't like the way Jonathan seemed to think he could just take over his life. Lex said, "There's no need for that. I'll be fine at school. I don't want to miss out on all those lectures."

"I wasn't asking you if you wanted to. You're coming home for a week."

Lex yelled, "We set up a deal for school, but this is going to far! I'm twenty! You can't make me stay at home with you if I don't want to."

Jonathan crossed his arms and said, "Our 'deal for school' has noting to do with this Lex. This is about you're mental well being, and like it or not I consider you my son now, so you will do as I say until I think you're mature enough to make your own choices."

Lex yelled incredulously, "So you're still gonna be spanking me when I'm thirty?!"

"I hope not, but if that's what I think you need, then yes I will. I picture our relationship being much different then, but who knows. I'd like to still be there to give you advice, and to share the happy things in your life with you when you're thirty, but I hope by then things have settled down in your life, and you won't need me to spank you anymore. Being your parent is a life long job for me. It doesn't end when you are in college. It doesn't end when you get a job. It doesn't even end when you are fully capable of making all your own decisions, and don't need any direction. It's forever."

Lex thought that sounded familiar, and thought that maybe Jonathan had told him similar things before. He looked down and said, "What if I say no and refuse to go home with you?"

"Then the ride home will be uncomfortable for you."

Lex grumbled, "Like it's not gonna be anyway."

Jonathan ignored this and said, "When we get home tomorrow I'm going to be spanking you for the gun. I know your father is not a good man, but buying a gun to confront him with was completely unacceptable. With your emotions running on high you might have shot him, and then you'd be in prison."

Jonathan put his hand up, and put one finger up for each of the next points he made. "You got an illegal gun. You waved it around in public. You confronted your father with it when you were very upset. You left your gun in your car, and probably left your fingerprints all over it. And then you told someone else to drive your car back to the hotel! What if they find the gun, steal it, and use gloves to commit a crime? How would you prove it wasn't you if you didn't have an alibi?"

Lex hadn't thought that far ahead of things, and as Jonathan was talking Lex got more and more embarrassed at what he had done. Not necessarily because he thought it was wrong, but because he had let his emotions control his actions without using his brain first. Lex shook his head and said, "I don't know."

"We need to get rid of it tomorrow before we go home."

Lex nodded. Jonathan asked, "Do you think the guy you bought it from would take it back for free?"

"Probably."

"As soon as we're done here, we'll get the gun and bring it up here so we can clean off your fingerprints before we take it back."

Lex nodded in agreement. Jonathan sighed and said, "But tonight we're going to be dealing with the drugs."

Lex rolled his eyes. "You say 'drugs' like it was heroin or something. It was maybe one third of a joint."

Jonathan nodded. He chose his next words carefully. "I'm against all drug use, but I could probably overlook some experimenting in college. But that isn't what you're doing. You aren't even taking it for fun. You're taking it to get rid of your emotional pain. But all that is really beside the point, because we've already talked about it, and I told you not to do it. And I know you remember our last talk about it, because the fist words you said to me were, 'I can get a prescription.' I'm disappointed in the decisions you made today Lex. You should have called us before going to confront your father. You never should have bought a gun. And you should have come home instead of going to that club."

Lex had been on emotional overload all day, and hearing Jonathan tell him he was disappointed put him over the edge. He tried not to but couldn't help the tears that rolled down his face. He impatiently wiped them away only to feel more coming.

Jonathan sat down next to Lex and pulled him into a hug. Lex broke down into sobs. Jonathan held him and rubbed his back. He said, "I love you Lex, and Martha and I are going to help you deal with all the emotions this memory has brought up."

Jonathan decided Lex would be crying again soon enough, and let him go. He said, "Okay Lex, it's time. Stand up and undo your pants please."

Lex shook his head no and Jonathan said, "Yes."

Lex stood and undid his pants while still crying. Jonathan pulled him over his lap, and pulled down the boxers to mid thigh. Jonathan started spanking, but didn't put much force behind the blows. He hit the same spot three times in a row before moving to the next spot to help the pain build without actually doing much damage. Lex quietly cried though the fist part of it.

Jonathan didn't lecture or say anything, and Lex couldn't form much in the way of a coherent thought. He started to squirm as the swats kept coming. Jonathan stopped at thirty swats, but since he hadn't been hitting very hard, Lex's butt was only a light pink. Jonathan said, "No more drugs Lex. Every single time I find out you've taken some I will put you over my knee. Are we perfectly clear on this?"

Lex nodded rapidly and said, "Yes sir."

Jonathan patted Lex's back and said, "Okay, you can get up."

Lex quickly got up and fixed his clothes. He found it somehow easier to stop crying now. Jonathan pulled Lex down to sit with him on the couch, and Lex was kind of surprised to find it didn't hurt as much as usual. It was uncomfortable, but not really painful. Jonathan hugged him and waited until all the tears and sniffles were gone.

Jonathan let go and said, "We'll wait for Martha to get back, and then I'll go get the gun."

"I can get it."

"No. You're going to stay here."

"But I was the one…"

Jonathan interrupted, "I've made my decision."

Lex yelled, "How could I live with it if you got put in jail for trying to clean up my mess?!"

Jonathan quickly yanked Lex back over his lap and gave him four full force swats. Lex yelled through it and felt himself tear up from the pain this time. Jonathan stopped and said, "I'm not going to be lenient with you this next week. You will obey me without question. Nothing is going to happen to me, but even if it did, better me then you. Are you done arguing about this, or would you like me to continue spanking you until you are?"

Lex said quickly, "I'm done!"

Jonathan let Lex up a second time, and Lex put a hand back to rub. Jonathan said, "Why don't you go wash your face. It will make you feel better."

Lex headed into the bathroom and did wash his face. He couldn't look at himself in the mirror. He went back out when he was done, and Jonathan said, "Come sit next to me until Martha gets back."

Lex sat down a few feet away from Jonathan. Jonathan moved over and put his arm around Lex. He said, "Why don't you tell me in detail what happened when you got to your father's office."

Lex spent the next half an hour talking. He started off with what had happened in his father's office, but that had led to other stories about his father. Other times his father hadn't trusted him when he was telling the truth. Lex was just finishing the fourth story when Martha came in. She smiled at the two men on the couch and said, "The gift shop is outrageously expensive for poorly made trinkets."

Lex chuckled at her assessment.

Jonathan said, "Call the front desk and see if your car is here, and if it is, tell them to give me the keys."

Lex gave Jonathan a pleading look and said, "Please let me do it Pop."

"No. Make the call."

Lex sighed and went to the phone. As soon as he hung up Jonathan said, "I'll be right back."

Once he was gone, Martha went to Lex and gave him a hug. She said, "How are you feeling?"

Lex shrugged, "I'm not sure…. Tired. Tired and hungry…. Really hungry."

"Then let's order some room service."

Jonathan was back before the room service had arrived. He put the gun and box of ammunition on the coffee table. He got some towels from the bathroom and handed one to Lex. He kept one himself and said, "We'll need to clean all the bullets for fingerprints too."

Lex took the gun, checked it to make sure it was unloaded and started wiping it down. Jonathan started on the bullets. Once everything was clean, they wrapped it up in a towel and put it on the bathroom counter.

Soon the food came, and Lex stuffed himself. Once he was done, Martha looked at the clock and said, "I'll go look in the closet for an extra pillow and some blankets."

Lex said, "I've got a whole room to myself Mom. I'll just go up there and you and Pop can…."

Martha had already gone to the closet and as she pulled out a pillow she interrupted him with, "Be a Dear and see if that couch folds out into a bed please."

Lex said, "But…"

Martha gave him her, 'You don't want to challenge me' look, and Lex sighed with defeat as he checked under the cushions.

"No it doesn't."

Martha put the pillow on the couch and said, "Go get ready for bed please."

Lex gave her a frustrated noise, but then dug in his bag for his toothbrush and pajamas. By the time he got out of the bathroom, the couch was made up into a bed. Martha said, "Come lay down."

Lex burst out, "I'm not even tired, I'm not gonna lay down!"

Jonathan got up and walked towards him. Lex backed away with his hands up and said, "Okay, okay! I'll go to sleep."

Jonathan didn't stop the way Lex had hoped, and soon Lex found himself bent over under Jonathan's arm receiving yet another four swats. He yelled, "I'm sorry! I'll stop!"

Jonathan let him up and pointed a finger in his face. He said, "I warned you I'm not putting up with any disagreements right now, and that includes arguing with your Mom."

Lex nodded vigorously and couldn't stop himself from rubbing a sore spot. Jonathan said, "Now get in bed."

Lex quickly got in bed and lay down on his side. Martha sat in the middle of the couch on the edge. Lex was on his side facing her. She reached over and started rubbing his back over the blankets. She looked at Jonathan and said, "Let's have some background noise. Why don't you see if you can get a quiet music channel on the TV?"

Soon some light classical music filled the air. Then Martha said, "Turn off all the lights except the one by our bed please."

Jonathan did, and then he went to the bathroom to get himself ready for bed. When he came back out, Martha was still sitting with Lex. Jonathan got his book out and sat on the bed to read.

Half an hour later Lex yawned and looked at Martha. He whispered, "I wish you had been my mom."

Martha felt herself getting choked up. She leaned down and kissed his forehead. She whispered back, "I am your mom now."

She patted his shoulder and got up. She got herself ready for bed and got in with Jonathan. He put his book down and turned off the light.


Everyone was woken up at 2AM when Lex sat up and yelled out, "NO!"

Martha was out of bed and beside Lex before he remembered where he was. She rubbed his shoulder and said, "Bad dream?"

Lex nodded and said, "How could she do it Mom?"

Martha pulled Lex into a hug and said, "I don't know Sweetheart."

She felt him starting to shake and a few minutes later he said, "A… and if my mom's a murderer…..and my dad's evil…then what does that make me?"

Martha let him go and put her hands on both sides of his face. She said, "That makes you MY son. Not hers anymore. You're a survivor. You're a hard worker. You're funny. You're too smart for your own good, and you're a decent person who knows the difference between right and wrong."

Lex shook his head no at her assessment of him. Lex saw a look on her face, and could tell it was not good. Martha aimed for the general vicinity of Lex's hip and gave him a not very hard swat over the blankets. They looked at each other for a few seconds and then Lex said with disbelief and hurt, "You hit me!"

Martha pulled his face close to hers and said, "You're a beautiful person Lex. Don't disagree with me when I tell you about it."

Lex whispered a small, "Okay."

Martha said, "Lay down now and go back to sleep."

Lex lay down, and Martha stayed next to him with a hand on his back until he fell asleep.


The next morning after everyone had gotten ready for the day Jonathan and Lex went out to return the gun. The man who had sold it to Lex was happy enough to take it back after he made sure it was in good working order. Lex gave him the bullets as well. Once they were done Lex and Jonathan got back in Jonathan's truck. On the way to the hotel the only thing Jonathan said was "Never again Lex."

Lex said quietly, "I know."

When they got back to the hotel they checked out, and then Lex dove Martha home in his Porsche while Jonathan followed them in his truck. On the way home Lex told Martha about the other memories he had gotten back from the experiment he had done. But as they got close to home Lex got distracted while telling his story and eventually trailed off.

Martha noticed but didn't think there was anything she could say to make it better. She looked out the window and waited to get home. Once they pulled up to the driveway Clark came running over. He hugged his mom first. She said, "I see the farm is still standing."

Clark said, "I told you I'd be fine."

She kissed his head and said, "I know Sweetie. Good job, I'm proud of you for taking care of things."

Next Clark hugged Lex and said, "Good to see you. Are you flying back later today?"

Lex looked a little awkward and said, "Um…not exactly. I'm staying home for a week."

Clark had known something wasn't right from Lex's message earlier, but this confirmed that something was very off. He said with concern, "What happened?"

Lex looked to Martha for help. Martha said, "Dad's going to be home any minute now, and he's going to want to talk to Lex alone. Why don't you get washed up, and I'll take you to lunch in town."

Clark looked back at Lex who was now red and looking at the ground. Clark immediately understood and said, "Oh…Sorry Lex." and then went in the house to get ready.

Martha turned to Lex and said, "If you don't want me to tell Clark what happened I won't, but I know he's going to ask me why you're in trouble."

Lex shrugged and said, "Go ahead. If you don't tell him now, he'll just bug me until I tell him. This way I won't have to do it."

As they were talking, Jonathan's truck pulled up. Lex put his hands in his pockets and looked at the gravel on the driveway. He gave an offhanded thought to how far he could get if he tried to run.

Jonathan got out and pulled the luggage out with him. Martha said, "I'm taking Clark to lunch in town."

Jonathan nodded and said, "Okay. We'll see you when you get back."

He gave her a kiss and then turned to Lex. He said, "Go put your bag in your room, and then meet me in the living room."

Lex felt his stomach churning. He hadn't gotten a really bad spanking for over a year, and he was pretty sure this was going to be bad. He got his bag out of the car and took it to his room on auto-pilot. He met Clark in the hall, and Clark asked again, "What happened Lex?"

Lex looked down at Clark and said with embarrassment, "I bought a gun and pulled it on my father while we were arguing."

"But….why?"

Lex shook his head. "Mom will tell you. You should go. It's bad enough to be in trouble again after all this time, I don't exactly want a witness."

Clark nodded in understanding and then said, "I'm glad you're gonna be here for a week anyway."

Lex gave Clark a weak smile and said, "Thanks little brother."

Clark smiled back and went down stairs. Lex went and put his bag on the floor. He sat down on his bed, not wanting to go face Jonathan. A few minutes later he heard the truck pull out and drive away. He thought about just staying in his room, but Jonathan had made it pretty clear that any and all disobedience in the next week was going to get him swatted. He took a deep breath and forced himself to get up and walk down stairs. He saw Jonathan standing in the living room waiting. Lex stopped half way down. Jonathan said, "Come here and sit down on the couch."

Lex thought that sounded better then it could have, and was able to make his legs work again. As soon as he sat down, Jonathan said, "Buying that gun was illegal, but beyond that it was wrong, and not well thought out."

Lex nodded. He had known it was wrong before he did it. That just hadn't stopped him.

Jonathan continued, "Then once it was in your possession you didn't handle it well. Buying it was bad enough, but then after that you carried it in public, took it to an emotional confrontation, and then just left it unprotected in your car! Guns are serious business Lex. If you're going to have one, you need to be responsible about it."

Jonathan was done with the lecture and walked over to Lex. When he got close to the couch he unbuckled his belt. He took it off and put it on the couch as he sat down. He said, "Stand up and take your pants down."

Lex's heart rate went way up, and he couldn't stop looking at the belt. He stood up and reluctantly undid the button and zipper on his pants. Jonathan pulled Lex down over his lap for the second time in two days. Jonathan pulled the boxers down and was relieved to see no coloring leftover from yesterday's spanking. Jonathan brought his hand down hard and fast.

Lex jumped at the first smack and then tried to lay still and quiet, knowing he deserved it. But it was a loosing battle, because the pain was getting worse by the second. His body started twitching with every swat. Then when Jonathan hit a particularly painful spot again, Lex made a noise of pain. A few seconds later Lex was grunting and yelping with each swat.

Jonathan spanked Lex until he heard the involuntary noises that the spanking was producing. He paused and noticed that Lex was already pretty red as he picked up his belt. Jonathan said, "You will not buy another illegal gun ever."

He brought the belt down and Lex yelled, "Ow! Shit! Ow! Mr. Kent…"

Lex reflexively put his hand back to cover his butt, and Jonathan quickly took Lex's wrist in his hand and held it in the middle of Lex's back so it would be out of the way. Jonathan brought the belt down again and Lex yelled, "Pop, please! It really hurts!"

Lex couldn't believe he had forgotten how painful it was to get spanked, as he felt the tears start. Jonathan brought his belt down again and Lex said, "I won't do it again! I swear!"

Jonathan gave him another hard swat, and Lex yelled, "Owww! Please stop!"

Jonathan gave Lex two more close together, and Lex kicked his legs even more then he already had been. "Ahhhh!"

Jonathan paused and said, "You will not take a gun into a public place."

He brought the belt down and Lex yelled, "Okay! I won't!"

"You will not take a gun with you when you go to see your father."

The belt came down with precision, and Lex yelled loudly, "Owww!"

"You will not leave a gun unprotected in your car."

The belt came down and Lex yelled, "I'm sorry! Pop, I'm sorry, please stop!"

Jonathan was done making his points and brought his belt down ten more times in quick succession, turning Lex's butt and upper thighs a dark and painful looking red. Lex couldn't really say anything during this last part, because he was crying loudly.

Jonathan stopped and put the belt down beside him on the couch. He let go of Lex's wrist, and rubbed Lex's back. He said in a soothing voice, "All done. It's gonna be okay. I forgive you, and I know Mom does too. We both love you and we know you aren't going to do it again."

Lex lay still for a few seconds too exhausted to do much else besides cry. Lex's boxers and pants were twisted around his ankles. They would have been all the way off if they hadn't gotten caught on his shoes. Jonathan leaned down and pulled the boxers and pants back up to mid thigh. Jonathan continued to murmur words of love and encouragement, and soon Lex was able to push himself off Jonathan's lap. Lex quickly fixed his clothes the rest of the way with a hiss of pain, and wiped at his face with both sleeves.

Jonathan pulled Lex back down to sit in his lap, making sure that Lex was mostly using his thighs to sit, and not his butt. Then he pushed Lex's head down to rest on his shoulder, and wrapped both arms around Lex and held him securely. Lex was stiff at first, but quickly relaxed into the embrace, and after a few seconds put his arms around Jonathan as well.

They sat that way for a long time. Well after Lex had stopped crying, he was still soaking up the love and attention that Jonathan was giving him through the hug. After a while Lex said quietly, "That hurt a lot more then I remembered."

Jonathan patted his back and said, "I hope you remember it for a long time this time, so I don't have to do it again."

Lex started to feel uncomfortable, and let go of Jonathan. Jonathan helped him to stand up. Jonathan stood as well and made Lex look him in the eyes with a hand on his chin. Jonathan said, "I do forgive you Lex, but you're punishment isn't exactly over."

Lex's eyes got bigger and his butt clenched in response. Jonathan said, "For the rest of the day you are going to be writing me a paper. I want no less then five pages by the end of the night, and it probably should be more. You can use the computer for research. I want you to look up gun regulations in the state of Kansas. I want to know how what the maximum penalties are for owning an illegal gun, and for taking a gun out in public. I also want you to find out how to buy a gun legally in this state, and all the rules you have to follow if you do own one."

Lex still had his face pointed at Jonathan, because Jonathan was still holding his chin. But Lex looked down and to the side. He muttered, "Okay."

Jonathan said, "Look at me."

Lex did. "I love you Lex. And I know you're going to be a great man someday. I'm proud of how far you've come since we first met, and even if you don't think so right now the spanking you just got was my way of protecting you from pain and suffering later on in life."

Lex wasn't sure what to say to that, so he kept his mouth closed. Jonathan continued after a pause. "Feel free to do your paper standing at the kitchen counter or kneeling in front of the computer. I'll go get you some paper and a pen."

Jonathan let go of Lex, and went to get the paper. Lex walked over to the computer and turned it on. He moved the desk chair over to the side, not ready to sit on anything for quite some time. Jonathan came back with the paper and said, "I'm going to go unpack and start some laundry so Martha doesn't have to when she gets back. Then I'll make us some lunch."

Lex nodded absently and started doing research.


Lex was still working when Martha and Clark got home. Clark was given clear instructions not to bother Lex, which he reluctantly complied with. Lex took a break from his work when dinner was ready. He blushed bright red, but didn't comment when he saw someone had put a couch pillow on his chair. He sat uncomfortably and ate quickly while everyone listened to Clark talk about school.

Lex finished his paper at 9PM, and when he handed it over to Jonathan, Jonathan said, "Go take a shower and get ready for bed while I read it. I'll come up to talk to you about it when I'm done."

Lex looked at the clock and thought about saying he wasn't tired, but in reality he was. He headed up the stairs to follow Jonathan's instructions. Twenty minutes later he found Jonathan waiting for him in his bedroom. Jonathan said, "Get in bed."

Lex got under the covers and gingerly sat waiting. Jonathan said, "You did a fine job on the paper. Do you understand now why I was so upset with what you had done?"

Lex looked down at the comforter and said, "Yes sir."

Jonathan sat on the bed next to Lex and gave him a hug. He said, "Okay then, you're punishment is over, and we won't bring it up again."

"Okay."

"Get some sleep. Tomorrow I'll call Professor Bennett, and you can spend the day doing chores and schoolwork."

Lex nodded. Then Jonathan let go of him and stood up. He said, "Martha and I will leave our bedroom door open tonight. If you have a bad dream you come wake one of us up, even if you don't think it was all that bad. Do you understand me?"

"Yes."

Jonathan walked to the door, said, "Good night.", and left the door open on his way out.

Lex lay down on his side and thought about his day as he drifted off to sleep.


Things went pretty well for everyone on the Kent farm over the next three days. Lex was extremely obedient not wanting to risk any swats. And even if he didn't want to admit it, he was also somewhat relieved that he didn't have to make any decisions for himself for a few days. He kept up with his schoolwork, and helped out at the farm.

By Wednesday Martha and Jonathan were being slightly more lenient. And while Lex was often preoccupied with thoughts of what had happened, it didn't consume his every waking moment. And having someone there to listen to him when he was thinking about his parents and the past was what really helped him the most.

Wednesday afternoon while Martha was doing the lunch dishes, and all three guys were out in the barn, she heard a knock on the door. She dried her hands and answered it. There in front of her was a man she had grown to hate. She gave him a glare and said, "Mr. Luthor. What can I do for you."

Lionel said, "You must be Mrs. Kent, it's nice to meet you."

Martha said nothing and waited. Lionel said, "Is Lex here?"

"Yes."

"May I see him?"

Martha said, "I suppose that depends. Did you want to hit him, blame him for something he hasn't done, or damage his self-esteem? Those are your specialties aren't they?"

Lionel just stared at Martha for a few seconds. No one had spoken to him like that in years. He could tell she wasn't afraid of him, which was rare. He actually felt a slight amount of shame. He said, "May I come in Mrs. Kent?"

"No."

Lionel looked her up and down. He found himself attracted to her. Not only was she beautiful, but she was a fighter. He said in all honesty, "I've done some soul searching over the past few days Mrs. Kent. And I've found myself lacking in regards to my relationship with my son. He….. I suppose he's told you about our most recent encounter?"

Martha nodded her head once. Lionel said, "I… I want a second chance. If I had only known that he was innocent….We could have been close. We were close before that. I want to do whatever I can to repair our relationship."

Martha had never met Lionel before, but she had heard plenty from Lex to be distrustful. She said, "It can't be repaired. A new relationship could maybe be built, but you can never repair what you've done."

Lionel looked away and said, "I suppose that's correct."

He looked back at her and said, "Could you help me?"

Martha looked him in the eye and said, "Why? So you can hurt him again? I don't think so Mr. Luthor. You can see him for five minutes with me and my husband present, and then you can get in your car and leave."

She pushed past him closing the door behind her. She walked out to the barn and Lionel followed. As she got to the barn door she turned to him and said, "Stay there."

Lionel stopped, and Martha went into the barn. She saw all three of her guys cleaning out the stalls. Jonathan smiled at her, but then lost his smile as he saw the look on her face. He said, "What's wrong."

Martha turned to Lex and said, "Lex Honey?"

Lex started to look nervous. "Yeah Mom?"

"Your father is here to see you."

Jonathan said, "That son of a bitch can just get…."

Martha put a hand on Jonathan's arm, which halted his rant, but she never broke eye contact with Lex. She said, "You don't have to see him if you don't want to. And if you do want to, Pop and I will stay with you the whole time. He wants to see you for five minutes. It's your decision Lex. I'll make him leave if you don't want to see him."

Lex thought about the things Lionel could do to hurt the Kents and said, "I'll see him."

Martha nodded once and then turned to Jonathan. She said, "Time it."

Martha put her arm around Lex's shoulders and they walked out together with Jonathan and Clark following closely behind. Jonathan looked at his watch, and then glared at Lionel. Lionel looked at his son with new eyes. He looked around at the Kents, and for the first time in eleven years could see what they saw in Lex. He said, "Hello Lex."

Lex crossed his arms kind of hugging himself and gave his father his usual look of hurt and distrust. He said, "What did you want Dad?"

"I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry."

Lex looked confused for a second. Then he said, "What?"

"I'm sorry. I've been wrong about a lot of things, and I understand why you hate me. But I have hope that someday you can hate me less, and maybe build some kind of new relationship with me."

Lex gave a sarcastic laugh and said, "Oh Dad, that was your best act ever. Really though, what did you want?"

"That was all. I'm gonna go now, but I hope to see you soon."

Lionel turned and walked to his car. Lex just kept shaking his head, and once Lionel was driving away, Lex turned to Martha and said, "That's not good Mom. I don't know what he's up to, but it can't be good."

Martha pulled Lex into a hug and said; "Only time will tell Sweetie."


That night Lex couldn't stop wondering what new game his father was up to, and found he couldn't concentrate on his homework at all. He kept trying to read the same page in the same chapter of his History book for half an hour. He was getting frustrated, and Martha who had been knitting in the chair next to him could tell. She said, "Put your books away for the night Lex."

Lex slammed his book closed and said, "How can I let him get to me like this? I just shouldn't care!"

Martha shook her head. "You may not want to care, but he's your father. You won't be able to stop caring. It's normal."

Lex didn't look too sure about that. Martha continued, "And you know, I don't think it's a very good possibility, but it IS a possibility that your father meant what he said."

Lex immediately shook his head. Martha said, "I know it isn't likely, but it's one of the possibilities I think you should keep in mind. For now, why don't you sit back and watch some TV until it's time for bed. I doubt you'll be able to concentrate on anything else."

The rest of the week, and the weekend went well for everyone, even if Lex had a lot to
think about, and by Monday he was ready to go back to school. And while he had enjoyed having a week off from most decision making, he felt ready to have some of his independence and control back. He thought about seeing his father before he went back to school, but decided against it. Summer would be soon enough to deal with whatever Lionel was playing at. Right now Lex just wanted to finish out his sophomore year in one piece, and was prepared to concentrate on it.

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